I don't know whether to doubt myself or not care about doubting. It's a confusing mix of the two when you live in a split world, where you walk the line without notice in one while you're always gone in the other, as opposed to a dream where you're living but never thinking, because you live like you know what you're doing, carried by some purpose. I wonder why life isn't like that? Why isn't life more like a dream, you know? It feels as if it's everything but. I feel like a shape cut, a jigsaw without the rest of the board. So when will it all come together?
I swear I know sometimes, but every not and then I lose hope and heart.
Is it a tragic, or comedic? It all depends on how you see it and whatever your sense and humor might be, I guess.
I think it was always one or the other, never both, but it seems to change in whoever's eyes I'm looking through. So I wonder what I feel like when I'm wearing glasses, or (if I already am) when I'm not, if you understand.
So I wonder who I am, if you catch my drift.
That's what I wonder about every day. As someone open to influence I am, I've lost all sight of what it's like to be myself, because I lost my real self a long time ago when I began to wonder about what life is anyway. Like a dream who fell out of the dream, I walk in confused ways because I don't think this is the life that could be.
so who knows anyway.
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