There are times when my mind wanders in the night, looking for clues to who I really am.
Other times it's not. Sometimes it lingers on yet, leaving me unable to sleep.
I feel like I die a little bit every time I sleep, as I surrender much of what I know to my subconscious,
which buries it for future reference, as though there are some things I need to forget.
And yet, I learn so much while I sleep at night, as I wonder why my real history is a mystery even unto myself, and I try to recall who I really am.
It feels like a temporary sacrifice, just to keep living.
I dream of a week where I can be myself and not worry about who I really am.
I want a day to be lost in without doubt about where I'm going.
If I ever get lost enough, I'm sure I'll run into the truth just by sheer improbability.
Give me a million dollars and I'd run.
Give me a million dollars and I'd have a dream.
With a dream, an 8th day isn't so faraway.
Why are you searching for yourself?
ReplyDeleteBecause there's a side of myself that's still running to keep the world spinning.
ReplyDelete