I hope she knows we're getting engaged this summer.

I mean, really. I doubt she does know, or even suspect, or cares to think it'd be true for even a moment. Or maybe she already does know ahead of time and has already planned out the ceremony in her head. I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know.

I wonder where she is at all times, and I hold that wonder far back in my mind to keep my mind from being constantly consumed by the desire to be nearby.

I get jealous easily. I am a jealous yet moral person, and I say that I hope whoever I have faith in would do what I'd want them to do in that situation, yet not do it because I want them to, but does it because they want to and it helps that my consideration is similar.

Easier said, I hope that she's like me but better.

This post probably has the most tags I've ever crammed in, ever.
So I think I should justify it.

Ok, recently, I've lost my mind several times, and proceeded to find it, whereupon I was surprised at it having learned far more than it knew before. The problem in this being, a lot of what it learned was a mix of things both true and false, of things either everyone else already knew, or things no-one else knew at all, including myself.

Which really shows there's more to the Truth than anyone knows. Even I don't know how it will all go down, I can only make my plans and live in the moment, trying to catch the next wave. It's a dizzying height every time I go up, but it's better than drowning or half-assing it like some do. Or not even bothering to go out into the sea like so many choose to do.

... Sometimes, I think she's the Moon and I'm the Sun. It's the only thing I can compare her to when she's not around. At her best and most unique, the classic sliver Crescent kind, waxing. When she's with me in spirit, a New Moon. When she gets in my head and drives me crazy, a Full Moon.

There are other times I think of, where the real Truth is she's my Sun, but I've yet to see her show that side, so I'll keep waiting.

I hope she knows I love her. It's true, there was one other true love I had, but she died long ago, true story. [Barring time travel or anything else, that is.]

Maybe we've both changed so much in not seeing or talking to each other that I'm utterly wrong, and to be honest I'm wasting my time over a long daydream, that's lasted for awhile. Maybe I should be dating and getting out there meeting new people and making friends and maybe I don't really know what I'm doing and I'd bring us both down if we ever saw each other.

Then again, she doesn't really doubt herself at all. So I shouldn't either.

Plus, I want to get married before The World ends in 2012.

I think she'd find it funny that I told people I was married to this girl when I was thinking of her, or that whenever I was making plans I told people I was engaged. Though she'd not find it so humorous that when I was looking for her in other women I called myself single. The Truth is open to interpretation, as every day I wake up as a different person on a different day.

I just wonder what her interpretation is.