Take my body, and burn it in a boat.

I think I've had my last meltdown. I've thrown away almost everything in a short span of time, and I don't think I even regret it. The semester is over, winter is entering it's long stretch, and I've started sleeping all day waiting for the sun to set. I'm not quite sure what point there is to being here, but here in this room I am, waiting for something to start, so I can start anew. I realized I can spend my entire life alone. I'd be depressed, of course, but wouldn't I be just as depressed by being continuously wrecked by other people and myself?

This will be short.

I need money to buy a better place to sleep in and eat healthier. I need a job to have money. I don't want to work anywhere where I'll start hating myself. And I can't think of a single place where I'd be fine with working. So I'm more or less fucked.

There should be someone to hear me out about all I have to talk about. I don't want them to tell me anything, just hear what I have to say simply because they're interested. Not because they care, but because they read what I write and let it affect them. But I'm not sure if there's anyone who'd listen to me, much less be changed by me.

I guess that's why I started this blog.