It's occured to me I must force upon myself reason and logic in order to be happy. All my actions are far too willy nilly, crazy, and generally insane. And I've been about seventy-five percent miserable throughout this period of idiodicy.
"Think before you speak." I've never really thought about any of the important decisions beforehand. I've always rushed in, for better or worse. And when things have turned out for worse, I've fought with all of my available strength to change the world to suit my decision and make it better. Odd way to have lived. Even odder way to live now, considering what all I've done has resulted in.
If wishes were horses, it wouldn't matter. I don't even have a goddamn high horse to ride in on. There's no changing the past, unfortunately, and it's even harder to make the future what you want it to be. Especially for those of you out there who don't know what the hell they want.
But it doesn't really help me either way to know what I want. Doesn't mean I can have it.
I want a back massage. (Not going to get one anytime soon.) I want to be loved. (Not going to happen anytime soon.) I need to get a good night's rest. (Might happen.) So maybe the Rolling Stones were right.
You can't always get what you want, but sometimes, you can get what you need.
Yeah right, as if I'd end on something cheesy as that.
So check out my band's website. Because we need more followers.
MYSPACE.COM/beautifulstates
... I should probably get people to read my blog first.
20.7.09
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