The latter half of a monday is the killing half.

There should be an accent...

PART DEUX (Yeah, I like faux-french. Hence my remarkable usage of the word faux.)

Someone once told someone who told me less is more.

Now it seems to me that seems a bit situational. If you’re overdosing on heroin, obviously less would have been just a bit more healthy for you. I’m not sure if that’s what the someone meant, but it’s the way I see it.
Because whenever I get more of what I want, my life is proportionally better. Less of what I want: my life gets proportionally worse.

I hate semantics. Which is all I seem to discuss.

I’m going to start writing a book. Dunno how, considering I am almost certainly incapable of writing in the third person. (It’s not natural, I tell you.) But I’m going to try. And then publish my work. And watch in despair as no-one buys the two copies sitting on the shelf in your local bookstore.

I bet if I cried on a webcam people would like me more.

I’ll be updating this blog tri-weekly. (No, not every three weeks, that would be semi-monthly, as in once or twice a month. You are fucking stupid.) So probably Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. For future reference, I’m not doing this for anyone. Because there’s no anyone who reads this, to my knowledge.
Maybe I’ll get a cute Internet stalker. At least that would make life a bit more interesting.
Whoever’s reading this (probably myself) should send me presents. They help my self-esteem and overall quality of life.

I could probably turn a better profit making shirts on the Internet than I could being a writer with an English major saying: “I am most unquestionably intellectual, hence my remarkable usage of the word ‘irascible’.”

Fuck, now I’m just as bad as those tools who sit at their computer making fun of English majors.